有关英语幽默小短文【精品多篇】

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英语幽默故事小短文 篇一

A boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. Periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat. A woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and,in response,the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”He's just a baby.“explained the youngster. ”His parents are in here. “Opening his briefcase,he brought forth a pair of slightly Larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. By this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice,how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.

As the bus pulled up to his stop,the boy slipped the mice back into his briefcase and rose to leave his rapt audience. Starting down the steps,he turned back for a moment.”They are for my snake. “he said and disappeared out of the door.

英语幽默故事小短文 篇二

Friend for Dinner ”Honey,“ said the husband to his wife, ”I invited a friend home for supper.“ ”What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!“ ”I know all that.“ ”Then why did you invite a friend for supper?“ ”Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married.“

英语幽默故事小短文 篇三

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, ”have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?“

Bill said, ”Yes, I have,“ and he gave them to him.

Then George said, ”Now I haven‘t got a pen.“ Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, ”have you got a stamp, Bill?“ Bill gave him one.

Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, ”Are you going out?“

Bill Said, ”Yes, I am,“ and he opened the door.

George said, ”Please put my letter in the box in the office, and.。.“ He stopped.

”What do you want now?“ Bill said to him.

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, ”What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?“

英语幽默故事小短文 篇四

An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost 50, so he went to the shop to have a look. After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeeper and said, ”There isn't a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicycle in your advertisement.“ ”Yes, sir,“ answered the shopkeeper, ”but the lamp isn't included in the price of the bicycle. It's an extra.“ ”Not included in the price of bicycle?“ Tom said angrily, ”But that's not honest. If the lamp's in the advertisement, it should have been included in the price you gave there.“ ”Well, sir,“ answered the shopkeeper calmly, ”there is also a girl on the bicycle in our advertisement, shall we supply one for you too?“

幽默的英语笑话短文 篇五

—Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.

-- Well,bring me the winner then.

-- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。

-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”

英语幽默故事小短文 篇六

My husband,Michael,a bus driver,was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.

After a minute,Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly. He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass,he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped.”My mother's coming.”

幽默的英语笑话短文 篇七

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”

“I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.

“You're a good boy,” said the mother proudly.“Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”

“She is the one who sells the candy.”

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

As the years turn 生日来临之际 篇八

For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President.  （Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.）When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. “There's no privacy in this country any more,”she said. “They even keep track of your birthday. ”

我奶奶过82岁的生日时，我送给她一份惊奇的礼物—一张由总统签名的'生日贺卡。（根据规定，80岁以上的老年人可得到此项服务。）当我问奶奶收到来自白宫的贺卡有何感想时，她毫不犹豫地回答说:“在这个国家，再也没有隐私了，他们就连你的生日都追踪着。”

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